The shit-ness began when I had to miss Wife A's appointment with the Obstetrician. This is the first appointment I have ever missed in 3 pregnancies; it was supposed to be a mundane appointment. Wife A was just going to have a glucose tolerance test (brave husband comment), which involved hanging around the hospital for a few hours between blood tests, and then see the obstetrician. I was going to write a blog on this, but the glucose test fades into insignificance against what would transpire.
It was supposed to be nothing unusual, well murphy's law played its hand and I missed the appointment with Obs A, where she ordered a sizing scan (wife A advises it's called a growth scan) as she had concerns about Baby Ernies (formally known as Baby Y) size.
Here's a technical medical thingy so forgive me if I get it a little wrong, but apparently your tummy (or fundus) is supposed to grow about a cm for each week of pregnancy after the 12 week mark (mums tummy not mine). If not your baby may not be growing well enough. Obs A was concerned that Wife A's tummy was a few centimetres short of the mark for the 28 weeks and as a result wanted to know if baby Ernie was actually growing ok and if not, why not. Poor growth can mean a lot of things to a baby, and a lot of these things aren't very good. I can only assume what the bad things are. Wife A and I made a pact not to use our trusty old friend Doctor Google to find out.
We have both suffered the loss of a baby and one of the after effects is the loss of our naivety about what could go wrong. We are a little bit envious of newly pregnant parents to be, who think of course all these bad things that happen to other people will never happen to us. We have lost this and thought in some ways we were slowly getting this back with this pregnancy. It was straight forward and "boring", our preferred kind of pregnancy.
I got the teary call from Wife A at work saying that there were some concerns about Baby Ernie and a growth scan was organised for the next day and I immediately rushed home. I knew how stressed out Wife A would be as I was already at that level, but I had a male job to do, act cool and under control. My role was as Chubbs would say "just easin' the tension baby".
It was a horrible day with me trying to do work from home as well as trying to keep both of our emotions under control and our imaginations too. Luckily for us kid X was in child care so we both had time to work through our feelings a little before we picked her up.
At night we went out shopping to get our minds off the scan and with Kid X we bought Baby Ernie a present specifically from Kid X. It was just what we needed because it took up some time that we would have just sat there thinking about stuff that could happen.
That night we both slept ok, well as ok as expected, both being emotionally exhausted helped. We left for the scan relatively early the next day as we were both getting so edgy just sitting around. It was so weird doing the familiar drive to the hospital but this time incredibly stressed. It brought back memories of our first pregnancy and there was a real feeling of déjà vu'.
We got there and luckily we didn't have to wait that long for our scan. We had the most brilliant Sonographer, who informed us exactly what she was doing and reassured us throughout that everything was wonderfully normal, from the heartbeat to the size, to the amount of fluid in the sac. She even gave us some amazing 3D images of Baby Ernie's face. The obstetrician checked the results and we were given the "all clear".
What an absolute relief for us both, our 24 hours of hell had ended and we were both back to looking forward to time flying through the next 11 weeks and meeting baby Ernie.